It has been one month since I left Roseville for orientation in Clatskenie, OR, and I have now been in Davao for nearly 4 weeks. This is officially the longest I have ever been away from home. Its not as easy as I thought it would be. I have been adjusting to a new community (American in the midst of the Philippines), new food (with new bacteria), a warm sweaty climate with no A/C (except at malls and coffee shops), a house full of new women from all over the United States, Canada, and one girl from Germany, and no men to speak of anywhere. Haha. I miss you spiritual dads, brothers, and friends!!!
I have begun what the directors of the clinic call the love hate culture cycle. Haha. I have bottomed out once or twice so far. Sometimes when its a rough day, nobody understands what I am trying to say, despite the fact that we are both speaking english, one more cold shower, or a bug farm in my big tasty avocado is just enough to push me over the edge and make me want to cry. Then I will go to the clinic and see the women laboring and their amazing strength, and their gratitude toward me (even though I barely do anything at this point), I realize why I am here. I feel entirely inept. I feel 100% unqualified, and in no way do I have any confidence that I can make it through this program. I have asked God several times, "Why did you tell me to come here again? What were You thinking!?" Ok, then I remember He said, it won't be easy, but I am worth it, and I go in my prayer closet and spend some time with Jesus, and He gives me everything I need. He encounters me and encourages me and tells me that when I am weak, He will be strong.
So its hard, because there are moments when I feel like I shouldn't be here. I could go back home to my comfortable life. I could have my own room again, get another car (or maybe a Vespa… thats an idea), and even get my old job back that I left with an open door. But I know that God called me here. I'm not sure I can do it. But by the power and the strength of Christ in me, I know I will.
However, this adventure is not without excitement! DON'T worry, I won't bore you will my tales of woe for the next two years over and over. There is silver lining, there are bright spots. There is joy and strength in Christ, and I am having fun!
Today I went to Samal Island for an outreach. The island is absolutely breathtakingly beautiful… and of course I forgot my camera. Its fun, because its really only a 15 minute dire to the dock, where we drove in a yellow VW bus onto a ferry that took us across to Samal. Its the island is like a resort paradise. There is actually a resort called Paradise on Samal, but its probably not the best one. There are several local places which range from $5 a night to $250. Amazing food, lush green rainforest, and white sandy beaches. The people who live on Samal mostly live in the middle, because all the beachfront properties are owned by the resorts.
We left Davao at 8am, and arrived at the Foursquare church to do prenatals at about 9am. Three women came in for their prenatal check-ups and there was one baby check. After, the pastor and his wife usually take the group of midwives out to lunch (its in their church budget and they insist), but it was only 10:45am, so we went to Precious resort for coffee and a tour, and later had lunch there instead. Precious was gorgeous. The resort is a garden, but there is also a beautiful beach with lots of places to relax. We toured the resort and found some starfish and sand dollars before driving back to the ferry and going home. The only sad part of our wonderful adventure, is that while I was away, my best friend was waiting for me, falling asleep, and I missed our Skype date!
Ahh, tomorrow is Sunday, a welcomed day of rest. I am going sleep in, go to church (later) and go walking in the city with one of the second year students who I have become quite fond of (and hopefully reschedule that Skype date)!
Monday, its back to work on my assignment (crunch time!) I am going to rock this assignment… But only by the grace of God. Then I am going to learn how to catch babies and save lives as a birth attendant! Amazing.
I am finding that as I read my books and volunteer at the clinic and do outreaches, I am falling more and more in love with midwifery. The entire process of it, from the first prenatal to post partum care. I am loving the relationship, the natural stuff, and just seeing the women with their families. It really is such a beautiful process. Catching babies is so awesome! One of the coolest things is that when you catch a baby, you are the first person to touch that person. What an incredible responsibility! Even cooler than that though, as a midwife, I can empower women and husbands to catch their own babies sometimes. How much cooler would that be to watch someone pick up their own baby for the first time? Being the first to handel them! What an amazing experience! I pray that my experience as a midwife will be about me helping women and families to overcome their fears and have experiences that will change their lives forever. When complications arise, I pray that I will be equipped to handel them, know the perfect timing to hand them off to doctors. That I will find the balance between the midwife world and the doctor world. With these to worlds joined in relationship, we can be unstoppable in changing and saving lives.
I read in one of my textbooks that the word midwife means "with woman" The midwife does not just "dump" or "punt" a pregnant woman through referral if medical or obstetrical complications arise. Rather she seeks the best balance of medicine and midwifery for the individual.
I want to love and care for my patients beyond their practical needs. To joyfully serve them and to be an example of Jesus that would provoke them to seek God. He is greater, stronger, and higher than any other power we could give ourselves to! He is SO good! SO worthy, so kind, loving, gentle, and FILLS my heart with JOY! He is unstoppable, and with Him, I am unstoppable. When things look grim here, with life, with patients, with their difficult stories, there are promises I can stand on, and someone I can make my request to! I wouldn't be able to do it without Him. Thanks Jesus ;-)
Some pictures of my time here so far!
Preparing for the high ropes course at Outland Adventures (a ministry that has a leadership camp for inner city kids that the directors of Newlife School started)
View of the underside of the high ropes course!
Victorious midwives after a day of team building and high ropes course!
Annabelle drinking some buko juice. We bought it from a roadside stand a few blocks away fro our house.
Holding one of our patients.
